Parenting in an Anxious, Polarized World
by Don Laird, MS, NCC, LPC, DCC, contributing writer
We are living in a world that rarely gives us a chance to exhale. The headlines keep coming: political conflict, economic uncertainty, rising prices, war, violence, polarization, and an endless stream of reasons to worry. Even when the danger isn’t at our doorstep, the constant exposure to uncertainty can leave our nervous systems feeling as though it is.
As a therapist, I hear the impact every day: numb, stuck, frustrated, exhausted, overwhelmed, and hopeless are among the many ways it is described to me. And parents are carrying a particularly heavy load. The job of keeping our children safe and secure has always been a challenge. Today, that responsibility feels threatened by a world saturated with fear and misinformation.
So how do we help our children manage anxiety without passing more of our own anxiety on to them?
A few things can help:
Turn down the volume. Anxiety isn’t something we can eliminate. The goal is to help children learn that they can experience anxiety without being controlled by it. With practice, the volume often gets quieter.
Make room for discomfort. Avoiding everything that makes us anxious may provide some temporary relief, but it can also strengthen anxiety over time. Help children take manageable steps toward things that feel difficult rather than automatically backing away.
Keep expectations realistic. In an unpredictable world, structure and reasonable expectations matter. Build in time for sleep, play, connection, and simply doing less.
Support, don’t service. Listen to your child’s fears without dismissing them or letting fear dictate every decision. Validation means saying, “I understand why this feels scary,” not necessarily, “Your fear is telling you what to do.”
Encourage effort, not perfection. Notice when your child faces a difficult situation. Remind them that courage isn’t the absence of anxiety. It is learning to move forward while feeling it.
Practice breathing room, for yourself, too. We don’t have to consume every headline, debate every issue, or talk endlessly about every frightening possibility. Staying informed is different from staying immersed. Create some distance from the noise.
Think through fears together. When appropriate, help your child consider, “If that happened, what could we do?” Having a reasonable plan can reduce the helplessness that uncertainty creates.
And perhaps most importantly, model what you want your children to learn. They don’t need parents who never seem anxious. They need to see adults acknowledge worry, take a breath, step away from the noise, ask for help when necessary, and keep going.
We cannot control the world our children are growing up in. We can’t remove every frightening headline, political argument, act of violence, or uncertainty from their lives.
But we can create pockets of safety.
We can make room for laughter, connection, boredom, play, rest, and quiet. We can teach our children that they don’t have to carry the entire weight of the world at once.
In a chaotic and polarized world, breathing room is not avoidance. It’s part of staying well.
***
Don Laird, NCC, LPC, DCC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor with 20 years of experience providing psychotherapy and counseling to adults, teens and couples who are struggling with a wide range of mental health and life issues. Don is a writer and adjunct professor who teaches graduate and undergraduate courses in professional counseling and psychology at Carlow University. Additionally, he facilitates workshops and classes in dreams, creativity, self growth, and stress reduction.
